In May 2020, I walked out of the psychiatric ward and into lockdown. Weeks prior, in a white and sterile doctor’s office, the words I’d wanted to say came out: I was thinking of ending things. This was all before the pandemic was really happening. It didn't matter how it would happen, just that it shouldn’t happen by my hand. Walk off the top of my building and let gravity do the rest. Make a wrong turn on the U-bahn, and walk into a train. Take all the pills in my flat and fall into a deep, deep slumber. These sorts of thoughts paralysed me till I couldn't function anymore, so the police came and within the hour escorted me to hospital.
Beautiful and moving Thomas, thank you for this
Thank you!